All of You (A Rebel Desire Novel Book 3) Read online

  “Okay.”

  “Okay? That’s it?”

  “Well, yeah, what do you want me to say? It’s okay. You really didn’t have to drive out here to tell me that.”

  “I wanted to.”

  “That’s nice of you. Do you want anything else?”

  “Just the pancakes and a coke please.”

  She nods and walks away, dropping my order off in the kitchen before tending the other tables. I watch her interact with the customers and clean up the tables. Every so often she’ll look my way, and I smile. No pretending I’m not looking at her. I’m here for her, after all.

  She drops off my coke with the same expression she gives everyone. A part of me was expecting a little more after my apology.

  “Don’t get mad, sweetheart. It’s not like I grabbed your pussy.” My head whips to the left. What the actual fuck did I just hear? I turn to see a fuming woman and make my way to her.

  “What’d you tell her?” I stare at the smug man sitting comfortably in his spot. Fucker.

  “Are you her baby daddy?” The guy snickers. I look between him and Cassidy Rae.

  “No, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna let you disrespect her.” I take a step forward, ready to kill the man.

  “It’s okay,” Cassidy Rae places her hand on my arm, but I scoff.

  “The fuck it is. He just touched you without permission. I’ll be damned if he lays another hand on a woman without her consent. Wouldn’t mind breaking all the bones in his arms.”

  “Mommy?” I hear the soft voice calling. Shit. I wouldn’t want any child seeing someone treat their mom that way.

  “It’s okay, baby. Go to the kitchen with Ryan.” Cassidy Rae pleads with her eyes that I drop it. I breathe deeply and rake my hand through my hair.

  “Is he?”

  “No, sweetheart.” Her daughter’s eyes drop to the floor.

  I look at Cassidy Rae and her daughter. This confirms what I was thinking. The girl doesn’t know her father.

  “I suggest you get your ass up and leave before I beat you so hard you can’t sit on that piece of shit truck long enough to finish your trek,” I growl at the man.

  Cassidy Rae ushers her daughter back into the kitchen and the other people eating here are staring. I don’t give a shit. No one else stood up for a woman who was obviously in an uncomfortable position. This is what’s wrong in today’s world—a lot of closet preachers with no intention of ever standing up for what they believe in.

  I finally take my seat again, no longer hungry. I could use a beer right about now instead of this coke. Hearing that bastard talk to Cassidy Rae that way lit something inside of me.

  “Thanks,” she whispers when she drops my pancakes.

  “You’re welcome. I wish I could’ve kicked his ass. Are you okay?”

  “Yeah,” she nods.

  “How’s your daughter?”

  “She’s okay. She didn’t hear everything.”

  “I’m glad. At what time do you get off?”

  “In about an hour.”

  “Okay, I’ll wait for you to be done and make sure you make it out safely.”

  “Oh, no. You don’t have to. Ryan will take me home.”

  “Ryan?” I cock an eyebrow.

  “Our cook. He’s a friend. He’ll give me a ride home.” She hooks her finger over her shoulder in the kitchen’s direction.

  “If he’s the cook, he’s probably here til closing time.”

  “Yeah, but we’ll be okay.”

  “I’ll take you home,” I offer.

  “It’s really okay. We can wait.”

  “I’m taking you,” I say with finality.

  When the hour is up, I stand and wait for her. No way I’m going to let her get away. If she doesn’t have her own car, I’ll be dead before I let her walk home with her daughter by herself. It’ll be late before they close the kitchen and her child needs to have a routine.

  “Ready?” I ask her when she comes back out.

  I lead them out to my car. Her daughter is quiet, eying me as we walk out. After opening the door for the both of them, I go to the driver’s side and ask her for directions.

  “What’s your name?” Cassidy Rae’s daughter asks.

  “I’m Jason. What’s your name?” I look at her through the rearview mirror.

  “Rae, like my mommy,” she smiles proudly.

  “It’s a beautiful name.”

  “Thanks. Do you and my mommy know each other? I’ve never seen you before.”

  She’s perceptive for a little girl, but I wouldn’t know much about kids.

  “We met the other day, baby,” Cassidy Rae responds before I can.

  Following the directions Cassidy Rae tells me, I end up by a bunch of mobile homes.

  “This is perfect. Thanks. You didn’t have to drive us, but I do appreciate it so Rae can get to bed on time.”

  “I’m glad I was able to drive you.” I look around the area. It’s definitely a part of town I’m not familiar with.

  I open the door for Rae. Her mom jumped out as soon as the car was put in park.

  “Thanks again,” Cassidy Rae says.

  “My pleasure.” I look down a beat. “Maybe we can get together?”

  “I’m not sure. My life is a little different than yours.”

  “That’s a sorry ass excuse,” I tell her.

  She glares at me. “I appreciate your help today and driving us, but I’m not interested in more.”

  I’ve never been shut down so bluntly.

  “I think you’re pretending you don’t. Think about it. I’ll be around the diner soon.”

  She rolls her eyes, her grip tight on Rae’s hand. I look around assessing the area and it seems safe enough at the moment.

  “I’ll walk you to your door. Lead the way.”

  “We can go alone. I don’t want to take up more of your evening.”

  “Just walk, or I’ll ask Rae to tell me.” I look down. “Rae, you want to lead us to your house so I can make sure you get there safely?”

  The little girl blushes and nods.

  “Please, don’t use my daughter.” Cassidy Rae shakes her head.

  “I’m not. I mean it; I want to walk you to your door. Let me.”

  Cassidy Rae sighs and walks toward one of the mobile homes. From the bits I’ve seen, she’s working that job to afford the minimum for her and her daughter. We stop in front of a white door.

  “This is us. Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome. Think about it. I’d love to get to know you.” I smile at Rae. “Nice to meet you.”

  “Me, too,” she responds.

  I walk away as she opens the door, but keep an eye close to them until they’re inside. Rae tells her mom something, but I can’t hear it. I take one last glance around the trailer park and wonder what the hell leads a woman to live here with her daughter. It can’t be the safest of places, but probably the most affordable in this area.

  Seeing this gives me more of Cassidy Rae, and now I want to know the rest that she’s keeping to herself.

  “Hey, Mom, can I lick the spoon after we finish?” Rae looks at me with puppy-dog eyes. I chuckle and wipe the side of her mouth.

  “Looks like you already did.”

  Her eyes wander all over the tiny space as she holds in her smile. “Busted,” she whispers.

  Laughing, I hug her. “I love you, baby girl.”

  “I love you, Mommy. Thanks for making cookies with me.” She squeezes me tightly before letting go and returning to her task of measuring the chocolate chips necessary for the recipe Joyce shared with us.

  “I’d do anything for you.” It’s the truth. I would sacrifice anything to make Rae smile. She’s my life, and the hardships I’ve encountered since having her erase the moment I see her smile light up her face.

  When Joyce overheard me ask Ryan if he could take me by the market, she insisted I take all the ingredients to make cookies, including her family recipe. I tried to say no, but that
woman is intimidating when she’s stern. I’m grateful, though. That means I can put a little extra into Rae’s savings this month. I was going to use the excessive tips Jason has left to buy what we needed, but I’ll happily add it to her savings account.

  “Are you ready to stir in the chocolate chips?” I ask her. She eagerly nods her head and dumps my favorite part of the cookies into the bowl. I hand her the wooden spoon to mix.

  “Do you think we’ll see Jason again?” Rae surprises me with her question.

  “What?”

  “He looked nice.” She shrugs as she rakes through the dough, incorporating the chocolate into the cookie mix.

  Jason dropped us off at home a couple days ago, much to my dismay. I freaked when he realized Rae was my daughter, but nothing prepared me for his offer to drive us home. I’m embarrassed about my situation and not being able to offer my daughter a better life. Someone like him, who is used to fancy things, would look down on this trailer park.

  “Can we make the cookies into shapes?” Rae interrupts my thoughts.

  “We don’t have cookie cutters.” I purse my lips.

  “That’s okay. It’s like play dough. Watch.”

  I stare at my daughter as she grabs a piece of cookie dough and rolls it out under her little hands. Hands that used to wrap around my finger when she was a baby. She shapes the long roll and beams. “You see!” I look at the cookie sheet, and sure enough, she made a heart out of the dough.

  “That’s perfect,” I tell her, admiring her creativity. I didn’t have much growing up, we were always tight on money, but my parents were able to buy me cookie cutters.

  “Let’s make more. What shape are you going to make?”

  Cheering up, thanks to Rae, I think for a second and smile. Silently, I roll out the dough the way she just did and twist it.

  “Ta-da!” I exclaim.

  “A star!” Rae jumps up and down. “I love stars.”

  We finish making shapes out of the cookie dough and wait for the cookies to bake. Every few minutes Rae peaks through the oven glass to see if the cookies are done. I like them soft, she said as I had set the timer.

  “Ready?” I ask her, grinning at how she’s hopping up and down. Her eagerness is contagious and even I want to binge cookies and milk.

  “Come on, Mom!”

  I chuckle and stop teasing her. I carefully take out the cookies, place them on the trivet, and inhale the sweet scent.

  “It smells so good,” I comment.

  “I know.” Rae licks her lips. “I can’t wait to try one.”

  “We’ll let them cool and then we can eat them.”

  I rush into the back door of the diner, Rae’s hand tight in mine. She gave me a hard time leaving, begging to go with me so she can personally deliver cookies to Joyce. Abigail was there to watch her, but the six-year-old in her came out with a vengeance, tantrum and all. I finally conceded, knowing if I didn’t I would be late to work, and if I left her, I’d feel guilty the entire shift.

  I try to avoid bringing Rae to the diner when I work the later shift. It’s not a place I want her roaming around in without real supervision and she gets to bed way past her bedtime.

  “Hi, Joyce.” I make quick work of putting my purse away and tying my apron.

  “We brought you cookies!” Rae yells, jumping up and down with a sealed ziplock in her hands. She put them in the bag herself, saying these were special for Joyce from her.

  “Sorry,” I whisper. “She wouldn’t let me leave without her.”

  “Don’t you dare apologize. You know I love that little girl almost as much as you do.”

  I smile gratefully and thank her.

  “Someone was asking for you,” Joyce whispers back.

  “Who?” My stomach drops.

  “Go out there and see for yourself.” Joyce smiles and winks before taking Rae’s hand and asking her about the cookies.

  I creak the door open a sliver and peek out to see who’s waiting for me. I catch his baby blues and he smiles. Busted. I chuckle to myself as I repeat the same phrase my daughter did earlier this morning. Seeing me laugh, Jason sits taller and his smile widens. I frown, realizing he thinks I’m happy to see him.

  I walk out into the diner and begin to work, taking orders from the customers waiting to eat or drink something.

  “Hey,” Jason calls out. “You gonna serve me?” His smirk is adorable.

  “I thought Joyce had already taken your order.”

  “Nah. I was waiting for you.”

  I sigh and take his order. My life isn’t a romantic comedy movie, where the handsome man falls for the poor, single mom. And I’m not talking poor as in, poor me. I mean poor as in I can barely afford to buy my daughter clothes. I depend on thrift stores and donations from a local church, but I hate pity and it seems like a lot of people around me like to give it.

  I drop Jason’s plate where he’s seated in his usual spot at the counter and look around. Everyone seems to be okay for now so I go check on Rae, but before I can open the door Jason speaks.

  “How are you?”

  I close my eyes and turn around. He wants to chat. “Good and you?”

  “Great.” His smirk tilts up to one side. “Do you work everyday?”

  “Yes.”

  “Maybe we can—”

  “Hey, doll face,” a customer interrupts Jason. I see him tense, his fingers curling into his hands.

  “It’s okay,” I whisper. The last thing I need is for him to think he needs to stand up for me when it’s no big deal. This man isn’t trouble like the asshole from the other night.

  I walk over, see what he wants, and when I turn around Rae is talking to Jason. I pause a second, watching her short legs swing from the stool as she talks up a storm. I can only see their profiles, but it looks like they’re smiling. I walk around the counter and face them.

  “Rae, please let our customers eat without interruptions.”

  “I just wanted to say hi and give him a cookie.”

  “It’s okay,” Jason says. “She came by to say hi and we started talking. I couldn’t turn down the cookie, either. Delicious.” He smiles at Rae and for a brief moment I imagine what it would be like if she had a father, or a father figure, in her life.

  “We made the shapes ourselves, like with play dough,” Rae explains to Jason.

  “Well, you’re quite the artist then. I loved the star.”

  “My mommy made that one,” Rae’s toothless grin is mischievous. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think my daughter is playing matchmaker. My six-year-old daughter. I roll my eyes and tell her to get back in the kitchen.

  “But I want to stay out here for a while. Jason even gave me a nickname. Can I talk to him a little longer? Pleeassse.” She links her hands together and begs. “I’ll use my indoor voice.” Her voice lowers a bit when she says this.

  Jason chuckles. “She can stay. I’m having fun talkin’ to her.”

  “Okay, but you have to behave and be respectful.” I’m more concerned about leaving her sitting next to a man we barely know, but I’ll be right here watching them.

  “I promise.” Jason places his hand over his heart.

  I giggle. “I was talking to Rae, but you, too.” My daughter’s entire face lights up like a Christmas tree. I leave the two of them talking so I can keep working, wondering what the hell is going on.

  A couple hours later, Rae is sitting in the same spot, an empty bowl of ice cream, and still talking to Jason. I have no idea what all he has to talk to a six-year-old about, but she always finds anything to talk about once she likes a person. She only got up a few times for quick bathroom breaks, making Jason promise he wouldn’t leave while she was in there.

  Observing this worries me. She’s so young, and I don’t want her to get attached to someone who isn’t a part of our lives. Jason is a musician. He’s part of a band. People like him are busy and move around a lot.

  “Mommy?” Rae walks up to me while I sit in the
pantry a moment to rest.

  “Yeah?” I smile despite the pain in my feet.

  “Are you almost done?” She climbs on my lap and hugs me, sneaking her face in my neck.

  “I still have a little bit left. Did Jason leave?”

  She shakes her head against my neck. I shiver as it tickles, but squeeze her tighter. In a few years she won’t want to spend time with me like this. “He says he wants to drive us home again.”

  “Ryan can take us.”

  “I really want Jason to. He’s nice. I like him.”

  Sighing, I pull her back. “We don’t even know him, baby girl.”

  “You don’t, but I do. I’ve talked to him all afternoon. He even told me about his band. Did you know a bass isn’t the same thing in music like in baseball?”

  My body shakes with laughter. “They’re different, but do sound the same. The bass is a guitar.”

  “Yeah, Jason told me. So, can he drive us home?”

  “Maybe. Right now I need to get back to work.”

  Rae wraps her arms around my neck tightly and kisses my cheek. “I love you, Mommy. You’re da best.”

  “I love you, too, sweetheart. So, so much.” Being exhausted from work is worth it to see her happy.

  We walk back out into the front of the diner and Rae takes her seat next to Jason, who smiles and winks at me. The last two hours of work are going to be long. It’s been distracting enough watching him interact with my daughter as if it were second nature to him. His smile has wrapped me up and transported me to a life where I could’ve had it all. But I know I don’t. Simply because Jason is here, trying to get my attention for who knows what reason, doesn’t mean we’ll suddenly live a happily ever after a la Cinderella (minus the evil stepfamily).

  “That boy has eyes for you.”

  “Oh please, Joyce.” I’m surprised she’s remained quiet about Jason this long.

  “He does. Anyone can see that. He’s been here since this morning waiting for you, and now he’s becoming best friends with your daughter. He’s a looker, too. Doesn’t hurt.”