Restoring Us Read online

  Restoring Us

  Fabiola Francisco

  Copyright 2014 Fabiola Francisco

  All rights reserved

  Publication date: January 11, 2015

  This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite e-book retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  This is a work of fiction. The characters, names and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

  Cover Design by Kari Ayasha

  Cover to Cover Designs

  Cover photo from iStockphoto/ Renzo

  Dedication

  For Cristina.

  No matter how long ago you left us, you will always remain in my heart, forever my Saint.

  Table of Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Epilogue

  Sneak Peek~Resisting You (Restoring Us Novella)

  Perfectly Imperfect Preview

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Books by Fabiola Francisco

  And then we came together like two wandering souls finally connected into infinity.

  Prologue

  Ava

  I saw the pity in his eyes immediately as he came into my room. Something must have been wrong. He was usually so optimistic when he came to see me. I knew things had been difficult lately, but he was the one always ready to tackle what came our way. “Hey,” I breathed.

  “Hey. How do you feel today?” Ethan asked me as he walked up to my side and took a seat on the bed next to me. I was sitting on my bed studying over some notes from my Ancient Greek Art class.

  “I’m good. How did the job interview go?” I asked, trying to sound enthusiastic, but the truth is, my gut feeling was telling me something bad was going to happen.

  “It was great actually,” he said, seeming relieved to be talking about something simple, like his future career. “They said I should hear from them in a few days, but I think I got it.” He smiled proudly of his accomplishments, his emerald green eyes twinkling. He should be. He was graduating top of his class in a few weeks for Finance.

  “But, hey. I actually have to go. I just wanted to come by and say hi. Tell you about the interview in person,” he said nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “I promised Dan I’d hang out with him today…to celebrate and stuff, you know?” He wouldn’t look at me in the eyes. That should’ve told me what was really going on. He was always straightforward.

  “Okay. Yeah…have fun. We’ll talk tomorrow?” I asked, but deep inside I think I already knew. This would be the last time I’d see him. My heart clenched at that thought. I couldn’t believe it, yet I couldn’t blame him, really. Or could I? It hadn’t been easy for us these past few months, but I finally started to see a light at the end of the tunnel, and he was giving up?

  “Um, sure.” He said, his jaw clenching as he reached down to kiss me on the cheek. “I’m sorry,” he said this with so much meaning that right then and there I knew this was it. There was more to that apology than a simple night out with the boys. My life was slipping away from me, and I wasn’t strong enough to fight for it. I was already fighting for so much.

  I was going to be sick. He walked out of my room, my life, and I threw up everything I had in me, which wasn’t much. I fell to the floor, too weak to stand on my own, and cried my eyes dry. I had lost a lot already in my short life but I didn’t know if I could lose him, too.

  Maybe he lost interest. I know I didn’t look the same as I had a few months ago. I couldn’t give him what he wanted. I had lost the shine in my eyes. But now my eyes would always be dull without him in my life. We had future plans together. Now that was all lost. I let go and lost hope. What’s left to fight for if what you had been fighting for had just abandoned you?

  Ethan

  To say that I was a coward is the least. I couldn’t stand it anymore; seeing her like that. I took the easy way out. I ran. I didn’t give her an explanation. I wasn’t even strong enough to tell her what I was doing. I just walked out of her life. She looked devastated. I think she knew what was happening. I wonder why she didn’t say something. Maybe she was just afraid to hear the words come out of my mouth.

  I had made promises to her. We had been together for three years. That’s a long time when you’re twenty-two. She was everything to me, but I wasn’t strong enough for the both of us. I knew she’d get better, hoped she would, but every day, seeing the struggle in her eyes sank me deeper and deeper. She was too weak. She wouldn’t eat. Her skin pale and fragile. It was too close for comfort. And what if she didn’t get better? The doctors weren’t making any promises that it would go away altogether. What if things got worse, more complicated? I couldn’t go through that. It was easier to leave than have to suffer later.

  I know that wasn’t the way to think. That wasn’t what a supportive boyfriend should do. But I was fucking twenty-two years old and scared to death. Literally, death. What if that would happen? What if I lost her for good? I couldn’t stand the thought or the pain.

  I didn’t have plans to go out with Dan, but I was hitting the bar. I needed something strong to ease the guilt and pain I felt for leaving her. I got an offer from Kasey at the bar. She knew I was dating Ava, but that never stopped her. I may have just abandoned my girlfriend when she was going through the hardest time of her life, but I wasn’t about to sleep with someone else the same day.

  I was a prick and I knew it. I knew she’d never understand why I did it. It was a selfish move. She was going through hell and back, and I knew I was her fighting force. I hoped she was strong enough to continue fighting.

  Chapter 1

  Ava

  I step out of the airport with the cold wind hitting me straight on. It’s March and the weather still hurts. I hadn’t missed this brutal cold while I was away. Two years. It has been two years since I left this city behind. Actually, the entire country. Going to another state wasn’t far enough to get away from the memories that haunted me every night. I needed a new beginning. So when I proposed leaving for Europe, like I had always planned on doing with him, to learn more about the different historic eras responsible for such beauty and magnificence to art, my parents gave in.

  I had graduated with my Bachelors in Art History and had a job lined up as a museum curator in Chicago when I decided I needed a different scene. My parents obliged after a heavy discussion about why it was such an amazing opportunity and how I could always find a job when I came back. They were worried about me. It had only been a couple months si
nce I was cleared and guaranteed I was healthy to go on living normally. Living. I hadn’t been living for a year. Not properly, at least. I was ready to begin truly living, to breathe a new breath and take a leap of faith. I shared all of this with my parents.

  I think they just felt bad for me. They knew my heart was broken and that probably was more of a worry to them than my actual health at that moment. I had been strong and healthy for weeks already.

  I took off all over Europe, backpacking through the different cities and taking tours to learn more about the grand buildings, their history, and the geniuses behind their creation. I began in England making my way through the UK into the European continent.

  I also learned a lot about the artists that ruled the time periods like the Renaissance, Baroque, and Gothic.

  “Sweetie! Ava!” I hear that familiar voice calling for me.

  “Mom! Hi! I missed you so much.” I hug her tightly. It has only been a few months since I have seen her and my dad, but I missed them terribly. They always supported me. Since I wouldn’t visit them here, they would make trips to the different cities I was living in. They could use the vacation and have the money to travel without restrictions. They always offered to pay my visit home, but I always declined, making up excuses. I just wasn’t ready to face my past.

  “I missed you, too, honey. How was your flight? Tell me everything!” She says excitedly, grabbing my bag and putting it in the trunk of their car.

  “Hi, sweetie. How’s my girl?” My dad greets me, giving me a kiss on the forehead.

  “I’m great, dad. Just really tired.” I’m nervous to be back, but it was time to return. I had spent two years traveling Europe; wandering the Netherlands, admiring Van Gogh’s work, taking in the beautiful buildings Gaudi designed in Barcelona, and drinking coffee in France like Picasso himself. I went everywhere and got first hand experience and knowledge about all of the amazing artists I admire and time periods I love to explore. I was even able to act as a tour guide from the knowledge I had gained between my classes at university and what I had learned on my trip. People were fascinated by my knowledge and asked if I was indeed a guide. I would have loved to work as one while I was there, but unfortunately, I wasn’t allowed to.

  “Let’s get you home then.” He opens the car door for me to get in. I slide into the soft leather seats of my dad’s Mercedes and sink right into it, feeling comfort surround me with the familiarity of its smell. The drive to my parents’ house on the outskirts of Chicago is nerve wracking, to say the least. I was ready to come home, but I’m not ready to face him. I know it’s a matter of time before I see him–our circle is small. I just hope I’m strong enough to deal with it.

  I had another nightmare last night about the last time I saw him. He was walking out of my room after he apologized, but this time, I didn’t make it. I had died along with our relationship. They say when you dream your own death that it’s actually an awakening of some sort. I hope so. I’m not ready to go through all the physical pain I endured during those months.

  If I learned anything from surviving cancer, it’s that life is too short. You get one chance, and I want to live it fully. Some may say I rebelled, but I call it living. I changed a lot after I was diagnosed. I still remember that day so clearly.

  I had gone for my annual checkup with Dr. Kelley and was waiting for my results to come in. I still remember that phone call and all the emotions it brought.

  “Hi Ava. It’s Dr. Kelley. I have your results from your examination. Would you be able to come in this afternoon to review them with me?” Dr. Kelley had told me over the phone. I felt anxiety forming in the pit of my stomach. She usually just tells me everything is great and that’s all. I had never had to go in person. Something must be off.

  “Sure Dr. Kelley. I can be there at 3:00. Is everything okay?”

  “Perfect. I’ll see you then. Yes, I just need to discuss something with you,” she said keeping her professional tone, giving nothing away.

  “Okay. Thank you. I’ll see you this afternoon then, I guess,” I said nervously.

  That afternoon, I stared at the sign outside the door for a few seconds that read: Dr. Kelley, OBGYN. I took a deep breath. I couldn’t help feeling anxious when I walked into a doctor’s office. The waiting room was small. A few chairs were against the wall with a table in the center. There were all kinds of women’s magazines in racks. The walls had floral print wallpaper that was in dire need of updating. We weren’t in the 90s anymore. For being such an upscale doctor, her décor was the not least bit posh, at least in the waiting room. Fortunately, her equipment behind doors was first class.

  I headed towards the small counter and knocked on the reception window. The nurse who answered had short brown hair. I recognized her from all my other visits. She was tall and slim.

  “How can I help you?” She said in a monotone voice.

  “Hi, I have an appointment with Dr. Kelley at 3:00,” I responded with a nervous grin.

  “What’s your name?” The nurse asked.

  “Ava Evans.”

  “Dr. Kelley will be right out to call you in,” she said, closing the reception window before I could thank her.

  “Thank you,” I murmured under my breath and walked towards an empty chair to wait patiently.

  A few minutes later, I was called in to see Dr. Kelley. She was waiting for me in her office. Her office was bigger than I expected. Just as the waiting room was dated, her office was modern with a big glass desk and two leather chairs on the opposite side of her. It was painted in a soft ivory color. Abstract artwork of the female form hung on one wall. I was appreciative of the art considering my degree and love for the arts. She had informative brochures on different examinations, medicines–presumably birth control, and some illnesses that occur in the female body. To the side, she had a small wooden table with a Keurig coffee maker and some white mugs.

  “Thank you for coming, Ava. Would you like some coffee?” She asked standing from her chair suggesting she was going to make me a cup of coffee.

  “No, thank you.” The knot in my stomach wouldn’t allow me to swallow anything, not even my own saliva, let alone coffee. She sat back down and motioned for me to take a seat. “Dr. Kelley, w-what’s, what’s wrong?” I asked stuttering.

  “I found some abnormalities in your pap test regarding the cells in your cervix. I am going to have to do a colposcopy to get a biopsy of the tissue around your cervix. It could just be a cyst, or something more serious. The results will be in next week. I’ll call you when they’re in so you can pass by the office and discuss them. Does that sound good?”

  “That’s fine. What can the abnormality be?” I asked her hurriedly.

  “It could just be a benign mass that’s developed there that will go away with time. You had mentioned some unusual bleeding and pain when you came for your annual examination. This is probably the cause of it. I want to take precautions, just in case it is malignant.”

  All of a sudden there was a lump in my throat. I knew exactly what she meant by her last statement, malignant. It was as if a wave just crushed me down into the bottom of the ocean, leaving me breathless and lost in the current. Could this really be happening?

  “What are the odds that it isn’t malignant?” I asked.

  “Well, I can’t be sure until I do the biopsy. Don’t get worked up, nothing is confirmed. I just want to be sure.” I suddenly felt dizzy and was thankful I was sitting down.

  “Are you okay? Ava? You’re pale. Remember, this means nothing yet. Don’t stress it, or it will get worse. I’m going to do the biopsy now to not waste time,” she said worried.

  “Okay,” I said and went into one of the examination rooms and got ready for the biopsy. There were all kinds of different contraptions in there, which made me even more nervous.

  After the biopsy, she did blood tests to check my cell count and see if anything unusual would appear. I thanked her and left. She had promised to call me as soon as the result
s were in.

  I remember that phone call. It shattered my world. Dr. Kelley asked to see me right away and in the pit of my stomach, I knew the news was bad. I hadn’t told anyone about my doctor’s visit until I knew for sure what was going on. I felt life slip away from me when she told me the results came out positive.

  She explained the procedure and what would be done, but I wasn’t paying attention. She could do whatever she wanted. Life as I knew it was over. I only had one choice left: fight or die.

  We get to my parents house, and I take a shower and go straight to bed. The time change is killer and I can barely stay awake. Besides, memories are crashing down on me and emotions I had buried are resurfacing. My parents already spoke about having a dinner for everyone to see me. They say people have been asking about me, but I don’t care to see anyone. I know my best friend, Katie, will be waiting to hear from me but she’s the only one I care to see. The next few days are going to be hectic, so I rest and prepare for what’s to come.

  ∞

  It feels different walking around this city. It once used to be my happy place. Now it’s a place full of memories I escaped. I’m meeting Katie for brunch at a diner in the city center. I decided to take a walk around the city, getting reacquainted with its beauty and its ugliness. I had forgotten how much these streets held in terms of my life: memories, secrets, adventure. And most of them were with him. I can’t say his name yet. I can’t think of him yet. I’m not ready. I wrap my arms around my body tightly, fighting off the cold air and comforting myself. This is harder than I thought.

  As I continue to walk around, I notice some buildings that have stayed the same and new ones which have emerged, as well as new stores and restaurants. It seems like a perfect balance of old and new, familiar and strange. I hope I can find such a perfect balance with my return here–able to keep some of old life, but wandering into the unknown of a new adventure.