Perfectly Imperfect (Perfectly #1) Read online

  “Do you want to meet for lunch?” I ask ignoring her questions. I know I am going to have to answer her questions soon.

  “Sure. Where are you?”

  “In front of Powell’s. Want to meet at Lotus Brewery?”

  “Perfect. See you there in 15.”

  I hang up and begin to wander down the street heading towards the brewery in Pearl District. This is our usual place. I’m not far so I arrive before Steph and grab a booth. I order a beer and wait for her to arrive.

  I’m sitting at the booth, my hands curling over my beer, deep in thought about the events of last night, this morning, and the text Grayson sent me. He’s coming over tonight to have sex. I put my face in my hands embarrassed and shake my head. I can’t believe I told him I wanted to screw him. Then rejected his dinner date, and told him to just come straight over. Am I that cheap? Talk about declining my self-worth.

  “Whoa! Rough night?” Steph distracts me from my deep thoughts.

  “Hey, you can say that. What’s up?” I say with little emotion.

  “You’re asking me what’s up? You’re the one looking all bewildered. Is everything okay? That guy from Luxe was hot!”

  “Yeah, he is.” I admit quietly and ignore her first question. I don’t think I’m okay, but I can’t admit that to anyone.

  “He took you home. Did anything happen? You two were dancing cozily.” She asks smiling with her eyebrow cocked.

  “No, nothing happened. He took me home, put me to bed since I was too drunk, and made me coffee this morning.”

  “Made you coffee? So what, he stayed over? I thought you said nothing happened,” Steph says confused.

  “Nothing happened. I fell asleep in my drunkenness. He stayed over to make sure I was okay in the morning, I guess.” I shrug it off and take a drink from my beer. “You want a beer?” I ask to distract her from our conversation, but truth is I need to talk to someone about this, and I know she won’t give up until she gets her answers.

  “Sure, I’ll order one now. You went for a run? Needed to clear your mind?”

  I look at Steph with a blank stare and sigh heavily; releasing the tension I have been holding in since this morning, or maybe last night. I’m not quite sure. Our waitress comes to our table and I silence myself. She takes our orders and retreats.

  “Fuck, Steph. Yes, I needed to clear my mind. Grayson slept over. We didn’t have sex, I didn’t give him a blowjob, nothing, and he slept over. You know how I feel about this. He wanted to make sure I was okay?” I ask almost to myself. “What the hell does that mean? He says I tried to sleep with him, but considering I was wasted, he couldn’t do that. Apparently he has morals.” I scoff and continue. “He wanted to go to dinner tonight, but I rejected him. You know how I feel about dating. Apparently, though, I told him to come over tonight so I can rate his expertise.” I blush furiously and avoid eye contact with Steph. I can just imagine the thoughts running through her head at my admittance. “I was shocked when I saw him in my kitchen making coffee this morning, but I also felt relieved. I thought I’d never see him again. I was a hot mess around him; all wide eyed and stuttering. I lost my self confidence and couldn’t help but blurt out the stupidest comments.”

  “Damn, Mia. You got it bad, and you’ve only met him last night? I saw you two dancing. There was definitely a strong attraction. It seemed like you both knew each other. I know how you feel. I know you have your issues about letting people in. Honestly, I’m surprised you’re even talking to me about this. But you also need to learn to open up and give people a chance. I can’t guarantee that you won’t get your heart broken nor that you’ve met your soul mate, but I do know it’s time for you to let go of this abhorrence you have towards love. You aren’t your parents. Every guy you meet isn’t Chase; just give someone a chance whether it’s Grayson or someone else. Do more than fuck them. Get to know them.”

  I sigh in resignation. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Somewhere deep in my psyche I know Steph is right, but I can’t get myself to let go and open myself to someone.

  We eat our meal and drink our beers talking leisurely. Steph doesn’t bring up Grayson again, and neither do I. Honestly, I am relieved. As we get up to leave, Steph gives me a hug and says, “Just have fun, Mia. Do what feels right, but don’t fight off what you’re feeling.”

  “Thanks, Steph.” I hug her back and head home.

  I feel more relaxed after lunch. Although I didn’t want to hear what Steph had to say, it helped me relax a bit and assimilate what was going on in my mind. I grab my phone from my bag and type out a response to Grayson. It was nice meeting you, too... How did you get my number? Should that be a creeper red flag I should be looking out for.

  My phone beeps immediately announcing his response. No creeper, I promise. I input it into my phone. I wanted to make sure I could reach you in case you ran. His response stops me in my tracks. Reading it, I can’t help but wonder how he read me so well. I thought I hid my emotions well, but he sees right through me and that frightens me.

  Chapter 3

  I am feeling nervous about Grayson coming over later tonight. I’ve had guys over before, but never like this. No one has ever just come over to have sex with me. Usually it’s after a night out at some bar or club. This is definitely another first.

  However, dinner means conversation and getting to know each other, no need for that. It is too personal, and he has already admitted he wants to get to know me better.

  I get ready quickly, touching up my mascara and lip gloss right when the doorbell rings. I take a few deep breaths, calming myself. Keep it together! It is just sex, and it’s definitely not your first time.

  I open the door and see Grayson standing there looking better than I remembered. He is wearing dark jeans, a white tee hugging all his muscles, and his cowboy boots. Damn, those are oddly hot. His eyes gaze into mine and his sexy smile is plastered on his face. I feel that electricity I felt last night again and succumb to it for a minute, feeling what it would be like to let my guard down. Too risky, too painful.

  When I look closer at him, I notice he’s holding a box and a bag. “Hi,” I breathe trying to sound confident but falling short.

  “Hey Mia. Like promised, I skipped straight to dessert. I hope you like champagne and chocolate cake.” He is totally mocking me. He planned this out that even though I wouldn’t go out on a date with him, he’d bring the date here. He is slick, I’ll give him that much.

  “Yeah, of course. Come in. You know the way to the kitchen,” I say sarcastically.

  “I sure do,” he smiles and leads the way.

  I can’t believe he showed up with all this. I should’ve listened to my gut about him. If I was torn, confused, about what I was feeling I shouldn’t have invited him to come over. I’m not looking for this, but I guess life throws us curve balls and we have to learn to swing or we strike out. I am not ready to strike out. I straighten my back and release my lip from my teeth. I get myself under control and turn on the charm.

  “You really didn’t have to bring this, but thank you. I do love champagne.” I grab two glasses from the cupboard as he pops the bottle with perfection.

  We drink our champagne and eat chocolate cake in comfortable silence just like this morning. I feel at ease and relax into the moment.

  “So… what do you do?” Grayson asks trying to start conversation; probably ease into what we both know tonight is leading up to.

  “I’m an editor for Rave Magazine. Hopefully by Monday morning, I’ll have my column. I just interviewed Alexandre Campbell, an amazing designer, and it was my green light to writing instead of editing. That’s what I truly love.” I explain feeling completely confident talking about my career. My career has been my life for so many years, since I started college and busted my ass to get to this point.

  “That’s cool. How long have you been workin’ for Rave?”

  “About a year and a half. I moved to Portland when I graduated from the University of
Oregon with the job offer. It’s been my dream since I can remember.” I smile proudly.

  “Seems like you’ve set your career path perfectly. So besides your career, who is Mia?”

  “I’ve always taken my career very seriously. What do you do? What brought this southern boy out to the northwest?” I ask, avoiding his prying question.

  “A job offer as well. Guess we have something in common. I moved here from my hometown in South Carolina ‘bout nine months ago.”

  “What do you do?”

  “I’m an architect. So why don’t you date?” He asks his prying questions again trying to get inside my head.

  “What do you do as an architect? Are you good at your job?” I avoid him just as quickly as he tried to get inside my head.

  “I am good at it. I manage different construction sites and assist in the designs. Stop avoiding my question. I know what you’re doing. I want to get to know you. What’s your deal? Do you have daddy issues?” He says bluntly. I gape at him annoyed.

  Who the fuck does he think he is to say that?! I scowl furiously. “No!” I exclaim. “Who the hell are you to say that?”

  “I didn’t mean to offend you. I just want to understand you better. I’ve never felt the need to get to know someone as much as I feel with you.” His eyes are wary and unsure, turning green. He looks nervous.

  I bite my lip unsure of what to say next. I feel angry for him to assume that, but truth is he isn’t too far off. Maybe I’m angry because he is closer to the truth than I’d like to let off. I soften for a second. I don’t talk about this with anyone, not even Steph. She knows my background, but we don’t dwell on it. Can I trust him? For some reason I have the urge to tell him about my family.

  “Mommy issues,” I tell him impassively. He gives me a knowing look and his eyes narrow. Trying to lighten the mood a bit, I laugh and add, “You asked. I just answered. It’s not a big deal.” He smiles, but it seems forced. It doesn’t reach his eyes, and the intense expression on his face tells me he’s guarded, too.

  I stand up to grab something from the living room, and return. “Scotch?” I raise the bottle up expectantly.

  “I thought you were a martini girl?” He asks surprised.

  “Only at the clubs. They’re more fun to drink, but scotch is my true poison. You want some or too weak to handle a little whiskey, cowboy?” I challenge. He sees my challenge, and I serve two scotches on the rocks. We continue to talk, laugh, and enjoy each other’s company as we drink and finish off the chocolate cake.

  An hour later, I am feeling the effects of champagne and whiskey mixed together. It’s freeing and my confidence is returning. I look up into Grayson’s eyes and find them staring back at me. His expression has changed. He’s more serious and his lips are slightly parted. I can’t look away, feeling desire rise in me. Bravely, I stand up, walk around the table, and bend down to kiss him. He pulls away after a few seconds; his eyes searching mine. He brings his hands to my neck, lowering my face to his and kissing me passionately.

  I put my hands in his hair and give his tongue access to my mouth. We work together effortlessly. His hands roaming my body, moving from my neck to my arms and down the curves of my body, cupping my ass and lifting me to sit straddling him on the chair.

  We continue our attack on each other, mouths and tongues becoming acquainted, hands exploring, and our body parts reacting to it. I feel his hardness under his jeans, rubbing against me, making me wet. After what seems like hours of kissing and grinding on the chair, he stands up hooking my legs around his waist and leads me to my room, bumping into the couch on the way there, but we never lose contact on our journey there.

  Once inside my room he softly lays me down on my bed and takes off my shoes, unbuttoning my jeans and pulling them off by the hem. He then peels my top off leaving me exposed in my bra and panties, panting like an idiot. He rips off his shirt and unbuttons his jeans kicking off his boots.

  My assumptions from the night before were right. He has a rocking body, and I am even more eager to get my hands on it. I kneel up on the bed, passing my hands from his lower abs slowly up to his chest and loop them around his neck, bringing him down and crushing our bodies together, our mouths meeting desperately.

  I push off his jeans and feel him hard beneath his boxer briefs. It gives me a high knowing that is for me, and I try to yank off his boxers. He stops my hand and holds them both over my head with one of his hands and with a swift motion unhooks my bra. His other hand feels my body up and down, heating my skin under his touch and building my desire between my legs. “Slow down, Mia. I want to take my time with you.” I pout but don’t argue to risk from ruining the mood. He chuckles at my reaction, and then gets serious again.

  He kisses my neck, moving down to my breasts, kissing each one in turn tantalizingly slow. He continues moving his mouth down, southward, slowly kissing every inch of my body. He reaches down and pulls down my panties, lingering his fingers in my sensitive area. He softly touches and teases, becoming familiar with my most intimate body part, and I react to each gentle touch, moaning softly.

  It feels different. My usual hook-ups are faster and rougher. We always had a goal to accomplish and did everything to reach our climax, quickly. Grayson is different though. He means what he said. He wants to take his time, become familiar with my body. I felt uncomfortable with his words, knowing there is more meaning to them but give into his expert touch. It feels amazing. It feels right.

  He brings his lips back to my mouth, and we kiss as he continues his exploration through my body. All the tension building up tonight is finally being released. Actually, thinking about it, the tension had been building since last night.

  I moan again against his lips and feel a hint of a smile as he kisses me. I push off his boxer briefs and grab his impressive length. He’s hard and ready, yet patient. “I need you, now.” I say impatiently and wanting. Damn, I’ve never had to ask for it.

  “I’ve wanted you since I saw you dancing last night at Luxe. It took a lot from me to go up and dance with you. I am not going to rush it. I want to savor each second.” I am stunned, my mouth open as he eyes me waiting for a reaction. I push aside what he said, though part of me knows I should just stop him, but he feels so right. He is getting in too deep, and I’m not what he needs or deserves, but the desperate look in his eyes tugs at the little heart I have, and I just kiss him in response. I am desperate for his touch and to feel him inside me. Truth is, although I can’t give him what he wants; I’m not ready to let him walk just yet.

  I hear the familiar rip of foil, and he puts on a condom. He lowers his body and pushes into me slowly, kissing my lips, jaw, ear, neck. It seems all his moves are slow and deliberate. He definitely knows what he’s doing and how to drive a woman insane with his touch and movements. I am already bordering my climax and feeling him inside me fuels that fire, but he just stays still for a second, letting the fire die down a bit. Then he begins to move slowly, in and out of me.

  His slow movements feel amazing on my insides. The feeling spreading everywhere in my body, heat rising again, as he takes one of my breasts in his mouth and his fingers play with my other one, increasing the feeling between my legs. His tongue flicks and swirls around my nipple and moves to my other breast.

  I arch my hips up to meet each thrust, intensifying the fullness of his member inside me, spreading me and enclosing myself around him at the same time.

  His mouth meets mine again, and he picks up speed, thrusting into me with need and desire. I continue to meet each of his thrusts, faster and with determination. I feel my body begin to react to his, and I give into it. His tongue dances with mine in my mouth and we move together, perfectly, as we both erupt into moans and shudders, climaxing together. He definitely puts all my other flings to shame.

  We just lay on my bed for a few minutes catching our breaths in comfortable silence, and then Grayson stands up. My heart sinks at the thought of him just up and leaving my apartment. I watch
him, but he walks out, still gloriously naked, and goes into the bathroom. I remain on my bed, feeling satisfied, confused, and nervous, flinging my arms over my eyes.

  What the hell is going on with me? I have a river flow of emotions crashing into me. Grayson returns in silence, and lies down next to me, kissing me on my forehead. I wonder what he’s thinking? He hasn’t as much as spoken a word, but then again neither have I.

  “I don’t do sleepovers.” I repeat my words from this morning. In reality I don’t want him to leave, but sleeping together isn’t my style.

  “I know.” He says with a small smile, but doesn’t move.

  “Shouldn’t you leave now?”

  “Nope.” I press my lips together, annoyed. He just laughs and says, “You aren’t really going to make me drive after drinking, are you?” He raises an eyebrow at me.

  “I think you just burned out the alcohol in your system with what we just did.” I’m trying to be casual about kicking him out, but it isn’t working.

  He laughs and says, “I think I still feel a little in my system, but if you want we can go for round two and see if that does the trick.” Without another word, I turn on my side, my back to him and try to sleep. I feel Grayson’s hand travel up my leg and cup my sex. “You’re wet again. I think you do want to go for round two.” Before I can answer, he sticks his finger inside me, moving in and out of me quickly, making me rise up, up, up in my climax. I am panting within seconds and move my hand to reach for his cock and begin moving it up and down.

  If he wants round two, he’ll get round two. My hand moves up and down him, intentionally, His eyes are hooded, a deeper blue like the depths of the ocean, with his desire written all over them. He moves so quickly I don’t realize what’s going on until I am on my back with my legs up over his shoulders, and he’s thrust into me roughly. All humor gone, his eyes stare into mine, and he begins to move in and out of me. This isn’t slow like the first time. He’s definitely not taking his time, and the way he’s eyeing me builds my desire. He thrusts into me fast and hard, hitting every part of my body. I can feel him deeper inside me in this position and it feels fucking amazing. I usually like control, but having my legs up on his shoulder without being able to move and feeling him move inside me so deeply are turning me on even more.